Blue and Maize Girl?

Hannah Jensen, MSW

2008-01-08T00:55:00.000-05:00

I did it.
In 16 months, I completed my program.
I am now a 'Master of Social Work.' Thank God!

Library Extravaganza

2007-09-26T12:26:00.001-04:00

At the end of my summer semester I moved out of Ann Arbor to save some money. I moved in with Jean and Jan. A mother and daughter who own a house in Chelsea, MI. It is about 15 mins outside of Ann Arbor. I love it here. Today I ventured for the first time into the Chelsea Library. It is a very new beautiful building with all the fine things that up and coming libraries have,,,except for books. I smiled to myself when i asked the librarian for help finding a book on Family Therapy. She said they didn't have those kinds of books. Maybe they spent all their money on the building and forgot to save some for the books. I realized that UM has SO many libraries, I've become quite the resource snob.

In Detroit, in one of the neighborhoods that I do some community work, the libraries shut down on a regular basis. Sometimes they have a hard time getting people into the libraries. Low-income neighborhoods are full of hard working people who don't have the luxury of access to Family Therapy or whatever kind of books, because of time and money, and education.

My problem of being at the wrong library to do my homework is so trivial, when I think about why I'm having this problem. I am working on a Master's program that is kicking my butt, but its definitely a luxury. It really helps me to think about the residents of Detroit when I start to whine about how difficult this program is. I realize it is a far less worisome to consider where I should do my homework than it is to think about where I can go to high school because the schools in my neighborhood are closing down. Or why the libraries are so far away because they close on a regular basis, or don't have the funding they need to provide services that are meaningful.

Back to School

2007-09-10T19:38:00.000-04:00

I'm back to school but it seems like the last thing I can think about these days is getting down to work. I spend a lot of money to go here, but I'm distracted by relationships. Brothers, sisters, parents, best friends, co workers, supervisors, friendships, bosses...the list and the roles that these people play in my life convinces me that I am a blessed woman. I know it. I can pretty much guarantee that the majority of these people either love or like me. (And if they don't like me they probably have to LOVE me because I'm family...lol) I am influenced by these people in great and negative ways. Both the positive and negative influences do distract me from school. I can't get my brain to settle down and attack the work. I feel like I need an injection of gumption. Maybe I just need to get back on my "back to school" diet--endless amounts of caffeine.

Monotonous School Work

2007-05-24T16:16:00.000-04:00

I am totally resisting all things school related. It just doesn't seem right to be in school and have the sunshine at the same time. If Michigan had sun in the fall and winter maybe it wouldn't be such a novelty and I would get some work done. Or maybe I would just not get any work done year round. boo.

Air Freshener: Part 2

2007-05-24T16:15:00.001-04:00

I have a window fan and a lilac bush outside my window. I swear that it totally smells like lilacs in my room all day everyday. I love spring.

MLB

2007-05-21T21:55:00.000-04:00

Major League Baseball. I've been informed that to be a better American, and more importantly a better person, one must know baseball. I have begun my quest to learn about baseball. I have recently made the Major League Baseball website a bookmark in my browser page. It feels weird. I hope it sticks...It would be nice to be a better person.

Lessons Learned so far:

30 teams (not 50 like I assumed, i thought there was one for each state)

25 players (with 8 players starting...plus the catcher?)

California has 5 teams,,, Padres, Anaheim Angels, Dodgers, uh...i can't remember the others

Other teams I know:

1. Detroit Tigers-American
2.Chicago White Sox & Cubs
3. New York Yankees and Mets
4. Florida Marlins (or is Miami?)
5. Washington Nationals
6. St. Louis Cardinals-National League
7. Texas Rangers
8. Boston Red Sox
9. Atlanta Braves (i think??)
10. Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Poor states don't get have any teams & there is an American and National League. The Tigers are in the American League.
RBI-Runs batted In??? or something...its a work in progress.

Air Freshener

2007-05-18T08:45:00.000-04:00

I was walking outside and the air was so warm that it was melting the sap on the pine trees. The air smelled really good of pine. I live in an apartment complex that is quite woodsy, but I didn't realize how many evergreens there are. I'm suprised I haven't noticed it before. Its like the earth's own air freshner. It makes me happy.

I have a job.

2007-05-16T18:58:00.000-04:00

I have been looking for a job since April and finally found one. I will be a caretaker for a woman who has Alzheimers. If you know me you might say, "that doesn't sound like you" and I would say to you, "I know". I saw this job on the School of Social Work website and applied directly. I have little to no experience taking care of the elderly, but I thought I would go for it and I was getting desperate. I interview with the woman's granddaughter and then again today with the daughter. I met the woman today and the situation is not what I expected it to be. The woman is hilarious. She is forgetful and confused at times, but generally? funny. Really, intentionally funny.

It would suck to turn 85 and feel like, woah ok, here comes a young kid to take care of me. So from now on I'm going to say, "hang out with" instead of "take care of". I think it would make her feel better. She said, "i'm 85, i'm not good for anything". She said it jest, but I think she feels that way. It has to be a tough disease. When I was in undergrad I saw this movie called "the Long Goodbye". It was sad when I watched it then. It is sad now and yet I feel thankful that I can hang out with this woman and help their family.

Jesus help me to love and serve this family the way that you would. Help me to be mindful and respectful of them and acknowledge that You are in control, even when things seem shitty. And Jesus thanks for the job. You know my heart, you knew just what I needed and you saw the need of this family.

RFK

2007-04-21T22:56:00.000-04:00

“Few of us will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.” Robert F. Kennedy

This is encouragment for a hopeful like me.

Mr. Hitchcock

2007-04-17T17:19:00.000-04:00

Have you ever seen the terror on the faces of the people in Alfred Hitchcock's movie the Birds? My face looks similar to that when birds fly around my head.

I hate birds. I hate them. I have funny stories explaining why I hate them. It wouldn't be funny if I told them here. They have to do with geese and swallows (enough said). I'm farily terrified of them flying around my head. When a bunch of birds are in a tree over my head i want to vomit...seriously. So anyway, I'm sitting here trying to finish two 10-pager papers, but I can't because of the dang birds.

I hear them outside my window and I am actually surprised about how little animosity I feel for them today. I don't blame them for being loud today, because it is April.

It is already April and I have no idea how we got here.

sweatshops still?

2007-04-13T08:38:00.000-04:00

Here on campus last week, a group of 12 students were arrested for a peaceful protest in President Coleman's office.

Their cause? Sweatshops.

Apparently, UM clothing is purchased through companies that work through sweatshops. Coleman's respoonse resembled: that UM doesn't take demands from students. The students were released, but continue to protest.

A few days ago in a discussion of economics (sick, i sound like a grad student), I heard that if sweatshops are closed down it would be hardship for the families who need the wages for survival. Ahhh! Ethical Dilemma!

The problem is that the wages are so low that the worker becomes more like a servant than an employee. If we advocate for a desist from purchasing from those 'sweatshop' companies we take their business but also take what little money exists in the workers pockets.

Product prices are higher for coffee and cocoa companies that use 'fair trade' agreements about equitable prices, but the selling companies are treated fairly. As a result the workers recieve just wages. I obviously don't know all the issues involved about this, but I'm working it out.

globalexchange.org
sweatshop.org
Hrw.org
iccr.org

...a few sites that keep watch on corporations; I got these from Shane Claiborn's book Irresistable Revolution

Blind, Deaf, Dumb

2007-04-12T09:14:00.000-04:00

Blind, deaf and dumb, Westerners, the richest of the world, have the severest impairments. Blind to the inequities that exist in our own backyard, we trip over them as they eat out of our trash. Deaf to the voices of children, families and elderly constantly burdened by poverty, we ignore their voices that are rarely addressed by the media. Dumb, we fail to question these societal injustices in our churches, businesses, bars, clubs and homes. The wealthy in American are numbed by the green in our wallets. Worst of all things is the American failure to act in the face of perpetual, cyclical poverty.

a philosophy statement?

2007-04-11T16:49:00.000-04:00

my professor assigned a philosophy statement. he said it disables us as social workers to work maddeningly without a theory base. why do we work? what motivates us? what do we hope to accomplish? how do these things impact/influcence our decision to pursue policy and structural change and evaluation? i think i've already written 2 this year.

I think about these things and what writing them really means, and I can bull shit, i can pull a theory out of a hat, or a database in this case and apply it.

or i can really share my piece and say i operate out of Jesus words to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, care the for the widows and the kids, comfort those who mourn, love mercy, etc...the list goes on. to the school of social work this discredits me. they scorn me. they scoff at the church. i understand, because I do too,,,too often. i cringe at the money the institution spends on the show rather than on the practice. i say these things not to be jugemental, but as a confession. I am sorry for wasting my time, money and pride on things that don't show Jesus' love.

Lord how do I balance what this world tells me and what you say? there is no balance is there? How do I share your Word to a people who don't want to listen? Lord help me to love in humility. help me to love you. Let people see you in me and glory in Your love.

last day of class

2007-04-11T14:04:00.000-04:00

SO tired of school. This is my last day of class for a GIS mapping class. I'm more confused now than I ever was. What am I doing here???? I have a week off after finals week and then I go back to school. God make me effective in my todays!

Worry

2007-04-11T09:21:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I sabotage my work with worry. I think about how I match to other professionals, students, christians, etc. I think so much about how I'm failing or how I'm matching up its like I injure myself. It like I'm "shooting myself in the foot" so to speak.

Recently, I've realized how damaging this pattern is. The problem is I often go through this cycle of realizing how bad it is BUT then I keep doing it.

Worry keeps me from performing my best. Anyone will tell you a little stress is good; it increase the quality of performance on tasks. BUT when worry/anxitey/self-depreciation become larger than the motivating force to move forward- a problem exists.

Lord help me to remember that I work for you and no other. My strength comes from your hand. Help me to honor You with my work. Help me Lord to change and have peace, knowing that I am Yours and that nothing can separate me from Your love. No failings of my own will keep you from loving me. Jesus be glorified in both my strengths and weaknesses today.

Activist Grace Lee Boggs

2007-03-16T08:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had the privilege of hearing Grace Lee Boggs speak on Community Organizing. She is 92 years old! She is still active and has a leadership training organization. This is a woman who knew Martin Luther King, and Malcom X. She scorns on injustices of our government. She said in order to change our worlds we must first change ourselves. Something in this resonates in me very much.

There are people who can move and motivate 100 people into action and then there are those people who have 100 friends. Just because you have a lot of friends, doesn't mean you have a lot of networks. You must have truth behind what you say. I wonder what the greats of the civil rights movement would say today about our progress on all issues of injustice. What would they say to motivate us? What would they say in response to this war? Where have the truth sayers gone to? Who are they in this day? Why have activist gone into hiding? If I believe these things to be true then why don't I change myself to relfect my questions? How could I, a social worker in training be a truth sayer, in my world, at my time in this age? Who would listen? The question is do I live my truth? Am I content to live life passively? Or do I see a need to make changes in my own life? I must first change myself to move others to social action. Ms. Boggs in a sense told us not to be a hypocrite. It is a nice to be called out on social issues.

My own truth: I'm a lot of talk and not a lot of action about social issues. Homelessness, foster kids, prisoner reentry, LGBT issues, poverty, blight, etc, the list goes. I need to make sure that I as a lover of Jesus am persuing his ideas of what social justice looks like. I must first act, move, speak, do--to encourage others to do the same.

Lord help me to be the anti-racist that you were. Help me to be the servant of the opressed and down hearted. Help me to challenge those who make laws and stick to them without a thought of love and hope for those who cannot help themselves. Jesus make change happen in me. Help me to live the love your Word describes. Thank you for Grace Lee Boggs. Thank you for Martin Luther King. Help me be a truth sayer in my own community.

gross

2007-02-06T23:41:00.000-05:00

Tonight on "Dirty Jobs", I saw that the Ostrich is quite canabalistic, as are many animals. Tonight, it was the Ostrich. This bird, stepped on it's egg, then the whole family (of ostriches, or ostrai?) started eating the broken open egg. Yuck.

White Oleander

2007-01-21T17:21:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I sit and wonder about the best way to show the World around me that I love Jesus.
I think about how to sit at others' tables, eat and drink with them and still differentiate myself. Words just don't cut it. Often it takes a relationship with people to make show the difference. I want to be on my guard so that I am able to resist one of my biggest temptations--complacency.

I was watching White Oleander and the phrase "redemption through relationships' struck me that the main character found her life and death in relationships. I know this isn't anything new. It feels like common knowledge that relationships form who we are and give us our identity. There is something more powerful here. Relationships make or break us. Mostly if the relationships in your life are shitty they break you. That being true, it only takes one great relationship to redeem a life or rather, make a life worth living. This 'redemption of the living' idea that I found in White Oleander made me hopeful. A meaningful relationship with Christ, or his people can mean life for some who are the walking dead. The flipside: a hollow relationship with His family can turn those who don't know Christ away.

2007-01-13T13:57:00.000-05:00

Doubting Thomas

2006-12-28T16:23:00.000-05:00

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath?
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who know me?
Will I discover the soul saving love or just the dirt of all the men who've known me?
I'm a doubting Thomas.
I took the promise.
I do not feel the same.
Oh Me of little faith
...
Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face, then I beg to be spared 'cause I'm a coward.
If there's a Master of Death I bet he's holding his breath because I show the blind and tell the deaf about His power.
I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises 'cause I don't know what's safe.
I can't keep my promises.
Oh Me of little faith.
...
Can I be used to help others find Truth when I'm scared that I'll find proof that its a lie?
Can I be lead down the trail dropping bread crumbs to prove I'm not ready to die.

Please give me time to decipher the signs.
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted.

I'm a doubting Thomas.
I'll take your promise.
Though I know nothing's safe.

Oh Me of little faith.
Oh me of little faith.

~Nickel Creek

Consider: the measure of a (hu)man

2006-12-14T23:33:00.000-05:00

Hannah's theory of Human Doing:

Humanity's worth lies in her/his ablity to DO. Value, honor, and promotion are all based on the ability to accomplish deeds, tasks, work. Kudos are given according to amounts of work. The Human Doing places all passion into doing something the right way. This Human Doing measures others by their ability to accomplish large amounts of work. Competition is key.
This Human Doing gets old, breaks a leg, and capacity to DO is limited. Human Doing's value decreases. Kudos cease to be given, because production has ceased...stopped DOING. This Human DOING is worthless, because DOING has ceased.

Hannah's theory of Human Being:

Humanity's worth lies in ability to exist. Value, honor and promotion are all based on how the existence is sustained and maintained. HOW the work, deeds, and tasks are accomplished. Kudos are given based on this Human Beings character during existence. The Human Being places all passion into being the right person. The Human Being measures others by their BEING character.
This Human Being gets old, breaks a leg, and his/her capacity to be is NOT limited. His/her value does NOT decrease. Kudoes do NOT cease unless the BEING fails to "be" with stellar character. This Human BEING is ABLE to live a worthwhile life, because HUMANITY CANNOT HELP BUT BE.

Consider: Try to understand worth based on someone's existance and NOT on their accomplishments. It humbles the rich and raises the poor. DOING and BEING are both existences, which require Divine Intervention. Why? Because Old Age and Death eventually remove Doing and Being from being an option.

Not Afraid Anymore

2006-12-06T17:03:00.000-05:00

I'm not afraid anymore. I can talk about my faith now without the fear of being stoned at UMich. Initially I was scared because there is so much verbal hate conversation about Christians/Catholics who would put perameters around behavior. What is law? What is morality? "The church can't dictate my morality!!!"

I was afraid, because I thought if I spoke truth I would be shunned. The process of going through persecution has somehow transformed my fear into a tool. It's like that verse, "In our weakness He is made strong." I feel a change in my faith, over the last few weeks. I'm not afraid to let someone hear me talking about Christ, and yet I know I have so much room for change. I pray that He will continue to make me unashamed of His Gospel. My faith is a work in progress that is for sure. I hope that somehow the Lord will use my experiences here for his purpose.

People still hate Religion. They always will. In policy conversations there are many who curse Christianity.
They defy rules and laws, which restrict behavior in which they want to participate.

What is the cost of our rebellion? What is the risk? Why do we need You Lord?
Lessons learned.
1. Cancer/Aids-disease
2. War
3. Lonliness
4. Abandonment
5. Alcoholism
6. Families Torn

Lord why do we reject you? Why do we want freedom from your laws, which protect us? Why do your own people distort your Word? God change our hearts, help us to live and teach Your Word with love and humility, so that we do not, in our sin, turn people away from You. God draw your people to love without pretense of getting people to follow. Help us not to have checkboxes beside the names of our friends who do not you. Let our quest to love not be an effort to convert poeple, but simply to love them as you do. Let Your love lead and guide our love for others.

Mary B. Ryan July 23, 1930-November 23, 2006

2006-11-29T14:15:00.000-05:00

My Grandma was a prayer warrior. I am proud of her. She was a woman committed to upholding her 8 kids, 19 grandkids and 1 great-grand kid in prayer. She passionately believed that prayer influenced our lives. I am thankful for the life that she lived, though she would be the first to tell you it was often not a happy life. Grandma was perpetually sad and troubled by her past. I think she lived a lot of her life trying to redeem herself from her past. An impossible task.

Not a single soul can redeem itself. We can try, but our efforts are in vain. The redemption of my life is not within my own power. Redemption is a divine gift. In Grandma's final letter to her kids, she said that in her death she is in God's presence where she can finaly just 'be'. She said that she does not have to try to "feel" God anymore, because she is FINALLY with him. She said "See you when you get here." Thank you God that I will see her again when I meet You face-to-face!

Lord help me to be someone who is passionate about prayer. Let me be an intercessor who understands that your presence is everywhere and that I cannot earn it. Help me to understand that I cannot earn my salvation through works. Oh God let it not take a lifetime for me to understand that the grace that You give is free and unearned. Lord comfort my family as we grieve the loss of a faithful and generous woman who loved and lived your Word.

One Way

2006-11-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

Welp. I bought a one-way ticket to chicago. Now all I need is the ticket home.
PS. I have a car now. Thank you Jesus.

Kick the Human Out

2006-11-01T19:32:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel like education kicks the human out of me. I become like a walking source of theories and facts, and lack the humanity that made me want to help people in the first place.
Today I was at a meeting with some bigwigs from Lansing, it was cool. We were talking about some policies that affect the health of people in Detroit. One of Jennifer Granholm's advisors was there. He was really cool, and he genuinely cared about people. It made me think that once you leave the educational setting the humanity probably comes back. Here's hoping.

"Roll to Me"

2006-10-31T20:44:00.000-05:00

Del Amitri, wrote this song called "Roll To Me" a long time ago. I must have been in 6th grade when I first heard it. I fell in love with it. In 9th grade my friend bought me their album called Twisted. I still listen to "Roll to Me" This song represents an ideal: a solution lies in another person. "When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining" it makes more sense to get a jump start and umbrella than to roll your problems to someone else. Having said that I still love the song and the romantic ideal.

Look around your world pretty baby is everything you hoped it would be?
The wrong guy the wrong situation?
The right time to roll to me.

Look into your heart pretty baby is it aching with some nameless need?
Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it.
Right then, roll to me.

Don't try to deny it pretty baby you've been down so long you can hardly see,
When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining,,,

Its the right time to roll to me.

Dum Dum

2006-10-30T23:02:00.000-05:00

Do you ever just feel like the dumb one in class?
I do.
Sometimes I think i missed out on the 'smart' train. I must have been asleep as it chugged by. Sometimes, I wonder if I even have the capacity to have an original thought.
Does anybody ever have an original thought?

Jew for Jesus

2006-10-29T13:16:00.000-05:00

Last night I was invited by my neighbor to a medical residents halloween party. The ususal suspects (beer and music) contributed a very large number of people in a small space. Needless to say, I wasn't sorry to leave when 2:30 came around...oh really 3:30 before daylight savings time came.

On my adventures that night, I was accosted by a few guys, who were not really accosting at all...merely making conversation.
One guy happened to mention that he was Jewish, and I impulsively said in a loud voice, "I LOVE JEWS!"
JD, liked that and so did his friend Dan, who also happened to be Jewish. The group that I was with had a good laugh over it.
You'd think I would stop there, (I wasn't even drinking that night) but I really do love the Jewish culture and I used to want to be Jewish. I asked them if they ever read Chaim Potok (I have read all that he has written) and Dan said that he had.

I proceeded to ask them if they were "synagogue Jews" and they laughed. I guess that is something that one Jewish person asks of another Jewish person. I got the impression it is an "in" phrase.
Dan said that he goes only on holidays.
Then he asked me What is your faith like?
"My faith is everything to me."
"What does that mean?"
and I replied cautiously, "if i were a Jew...I would be a Jew for Jesus."
The light dawned on his face, "Oh so you are a Christian?" "Yes I am" He says, "I just talked to Jesus for the first time last week at a Catholic wedding, He was everywhere."

Moral of the Story: Talking about faith can be a scary thing. Use the language (jargon, slang) of the person you are talking to build a relationship and the subject of faith becomes a norm. Thank you Jesus.

My New Thing

2006-10-22T13:09:00.000-04:00

This week I started working for the Conversation Ministry at my new church in A2, New Life Community.

Conversation Ministry: A one hour, once a week meeting of a chinese person and an american person. The one hour invovles conversation surrounding american culture and struggles with idioms and slang.

I met my new partner this week and we ended up talking for 2 hours. I loved the exchange of culture. His name is Fuyaun. It sounds like Foo wee on. Needless to say, I am learning much from the Asian community these days.

My Car

2006-10-21T08:59:00.000-04:00

Ode to my car...which was stolen yesterday.

that sucked

2006-10-19T22:24:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I locked my keys in my car, in a high crime neighborhood. That sucked.

I don't want it.

2006-10-18T23:56:00.000-04:00

At what point do you tell your friends, peers, classmates, who hate christians...that you are one?
Do you write it in a paper and hope the professor will bring it up so that you will finally be able to declare..."yes, i love Jesus!" I don't care if you reject me because of it? Do you write about how God led you...on a class site? do you tell people you can't participate in a group project because you teach Sunday school?

I hate the Christian stigma here.
Why am I so afraid to tell people that I am one? Fear? Fear is sick. I hate it. I don't want it.

I don't want that label of cheezy Christian. I don't want people to look at me through THAT lens...you know the one?
The lens that says that we hate on people who are different than us. It says that we hate on people who don't believe the same way we do.
God forbid we hate on anyone. BUT its true. My friends know its true because they have experienced hate from religious, right wing fanatics. Well I don't want it, OK? I don't like that lens!

You know what I do want? I want to love all my neighbors, muslim, gay, homeless, lesbian, bi, jewish, transgendered, rich, able bodied, etc. I want to love them the same, and never reject them. What have we done to Christianity? Why have we made it something scorned? How can we change it? I can do nothing. I won't tell people here that I am a Christian, I will tell them I follow Jesus.

Because through our faults "we" have made Christianity what we think it should be and not what Jesus made it. He made it a sanctuary for the outcasts; He made it a humbling place for the rich and the proud; He made it a freedom place for the bound.
Help us oh God to love our neighbors as ourselves. Teach us mercy, forgiveness and grace. Most of all God teach us humility.

Mistakes and Laughs

2006-10-18T13:27:00.000-04:00

Man do I make them, and sometimes I just feel like one. You know?...That feeling that you are the mistake? If you are familiar keep reading the funny part is coming.

I feel that way with my field placement these last few weeks. I am still floating trying to understand where I fit in to this self-directed position with the Skillman Good Neighborhoodhoods Initiative. I love the placement, but I wonder am I the wrong person for this job? Or am I the right person at the wrong time? I don't know. How long do I wait? What am I supposed to say? I don't want to take my supervisors away from their work. I feel like an ignorant nuisance.

For laughs and embarassment:
Today I made a stupid mistake. I was sending minutes from a meeting to my head supervisor, and in the title I wrote hey! The computer recognized that I had a history of writing "hey momma" to my mom and changed the title of my email to my supervisor to read "hey momma". I sent the email unaware of the lurking disaster. When she replied, I realized my error, and I am still laughing with a red face. I am full of mistakes.

HOT POT

2006-10-18T01:28:00.000-04:00

I want to echo the words of my dear friend Lindy,,, “I am where I belong.”
I know that the things I am learning here at U of M are more valuable to the formation of my character than I could have hoped for.
Tonight I was the only non-Asian at what is called a “Hot-Pot” party.

History:
I was invited by my neigbhor Shuen (and leader of my women's Bible study).
Shuen is American Chinese and she has a Taiwaneese roommate, Joyce. I met Joyce today at the bus stop.
I said, "Are you Joyce?" and she looked at me with that 'stay away you creep' look and said "yes". And I proceeded to introduce myself as Shuen's friend. Later that night, I was called to a HOT POT party.

OK so first things first, Hot-Pot is NOT what it sounds like. It IS the best thing this side of Northwood (my apartment). I being non-Asian am a minority here in this complex. I love it. I love my neighbors.

Definition of Hot Pot:
A crockpot like dish, set in the middle of the living room, on a table with about 12-15 people sitting around. What goes in? I think everything. Some of what I ate...well...you probably don't want to know; squid, fish balls (i think scales/bones/eyeballs included), tofu, some sort of tuber, unrecognizalbe meat, chicken legs, and an assortment of green stuff. I loved it. I felt my gag reflex only once, and that was due to the fish ball texture. The people at the party were from Japan, Korea, Taiwan, and China. They accepted me and loved on me. How can they do that? I wonder do I do that? I don't think so. Seriously, they wanted me to share their culture. God make me like that!

They were shocked at my profficiency with chopsticks. I guess one thing that American-Chinese restaurants do right is the chopstick thing.

Think BIG?

2006-10-18T01:25:00.000-04:00

Everyone here expects to be, do, or invent something big. I think that is how they got here, either that or they got lessons on how to BS a good entry letter.

This school attracts people who think with big words, ideas and changes…or is it think big of themselves? In class, coffee shops, seminars, church, work, and casual conversation, I am confronted with the qualifications of the people that I am surrounded by. As with every new concept I think, ‘Ok how does this fit with my faith?” OR “how can I manipulate this idea of bigness to fit God’s picture for my life?”

I wonder, “Lord am I allowed to think big too?”

God may I worship You only in all things. Help me to be content with my place and purpose…whatever that is. Help me God. Protect me from what is not from or of you. Help me to let go of what separates me from Your perfect will. Oh Jesus may all BIG things that I do be a reflection of you in me. Help me to be hungry for you instead of what this world thinks is big.

Have You Ever?

2006-10-14T21:55:00.000-04:00

Have YOU Ever...
Written a letter that you couldn't send?
Had a lot to say, but lacked the audience?
Had nothing to say, but had an audience?
Wondered if your spirituality was directly related to your Geography?
Been the unmerciful sevant (pardon the Bible language)?
Repayed evil for good?

I have.

2006-10-01T21:17:00.000-04:00

He is so funny!

A startling revelation

2006-10-01T20:53:00.000-04:00

I have spent the last year and half of my life resisting the push and pull of this process of coming to UofM. For much of the time I was convinced that at the last minute an amazing opportunity would come up and I wouldn't have to spend the next 2 years of my life at graduate school. The opportunity never came, and not wanting to put my life on hold until this invisible opportunity came I walked through open doors to this magnetic place, Ann Arbor. I love it.

Despite the satisfaction I feel at being in this prestigious place I feel a dichotomy within myself. I am all at once peaceful and agitated. I have an incredible sense of well-being with the knowledge that I followed the road to this society that is set up for successes. I am in the unequivocal land of opportunity, but the struggle lies in what I am doing here. I often ask myself "what is my purpose?" "am I made for this work?" My chosen method area in social work is Social Policy. Now to many this may sound boring, but let me remind you it plays an important role in every aspect of our western society. Policies influence where we'll go to school, where we can build buildings, who gets food and how much they get, who gets new trash dumpsters and who has to wait till the next century comes around. More to come.

In The Beginning

2006-09-27T22:45:00.000-04:00

Just figuring out how this whole blog thing works will take some time. Questions I ask are, "will I with all my theoretical 'spare time' be able to maintain a blog?" AND "how do I really feel about writing something public for all the world to potentially see my words? Well, here I am to find out.