"Roll to Me"

Del Amitri, wrote this song called "Roll To Me" a long time ago. I must have been in 6th grade when I first heard it. I fell in love with it. In 9th grade my friend bought me their album called Twisted. I still listen to "Roll to Me" This song represents an ideal: a solution lies in another person. "When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining" it makes more sense to get a jump start and umbrella than to roll your problems to someone else. Having said that I still love the song and the romantic ideal.

Look around your world pretty baby is everything you hoped it would be?
The wrong guy the wrong situation?
The right time to roll to me.

Look into your heart pretty baby is it aching with some nameless need?
Is there something wrong and you can't put your finger on it.
Right then, roll to me.

Don't try to deny it pretty baby you've been down so long you can hardly see,
When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining,,,

Its the right time to roll to me.

Dum Dum

Do you ever just feel like the dumb one in class?
I do.
Sometimes I think i missed out on the 'smart' train. I must have been asleep as it chugged by. Sometimes, I wonder if I even have the capacity to have an original thought.
Does anybody ever have an original thought?

Jew for Jesus

Last night I was invited by my neighbor to a medical residents halloween party. The ususal suspects (beer and music) contributed a very large number of people in a small space. Needless to say, I wasn't sorry to leave when 2:30 came around...oh really 3:30 before daylight savings time came.

On my adventures that night, I was accosted by a few guys, who were not really accosting at all...merely making conversation.
One guy happened to mention that he was Jewish, and I impulsively said in a loud voice, "I LOVE JEWS!"
JD, liked that and so did his friend Dan, who also happened to be Jewish. The group that I was with had a good laugh over it.
You'd think I would stop there, (I wasn't even drinking that night) but I really do love the Jewish culture and I used to want to be Jewish. I asked them if they ever read Chaim Potok (I have read all that he has written) and Dan said that he had.

I proceeded to ask them if they were "synagogue Jews" and they laughed. I guess that is something that one Jewish person asks of another Jewish person. I got the impression it is an "in" phrase.
Dan said that he goes only on holidays.
Then he asked me What is your faith like?
"My faith is everything to me."
"What does that mean?"
and I replied cautiously, "if i were a Jew...I would be a Jew for Jesus."
The light dawned on his face, "Oh so you are a Christian?" "Yes I am" He says, "I just talked to Jesus for the first time last week at a Catholic wedding, He was everywhere."

Moral of the Story: Talking about faith can be a scary thing. Use the language (jargon, slang) of the person you are talking to build a relationship and the subject of faith becomes a norm. Thank you Jesus.

My New Thing

This week I started working for the Conversation Ministry at my new church in A2, New Life Community.

Conversation Ministry: A one hour, once a week meeting of a chinese person and an american person. The one hour invovles conversation surrounding american culture and struggles with idioms and slang.

I met my new partner this week and we ended up talking for 2 hours. I loved the exchange of culture. His name is Fuyaun. It sounds like Foo wee on. Needless to say, I am learning much from the Asian community these days.

My Car

Ode to my car...which was stolen yesterday.

that sucked

Tonight, I locked my keys in my car, in a high crime neighborhood. That sucked.

I don't want it.

At what point do you tell your friends, peers, classmates, who hate christians...that you are one?
Do you write it in a paper and hope the professor will bring it up so that you will finally be able to declare..."yes, i love Jesus!" I don't care if you reject me because of it? Do you write about how God led you...on a class site? do you tell people you can't participate in a group project because you teach Sunday school?

I hate the Christian stigma here.
Why am I so afraid to tell people that I am one? Fear? Fear is sick. I hate it. I don't want it.

I don't want that label of cheezy Christian. I don't want people to look at me through THAT lens...you know the one?
The lens that says that we hate on people who are different than us. It says that we hate on people who don't believe the same way we do.
God forbid we hate on anyone. BUT its true. My friends know its true because they have experienced hate from religious, right wing fanatics. Well I don't want it, OK? I don't like that lens!

You know what I do want? I want to love all my neighbors, muslim, gay, homeless, lesbian, bi, jewish, transgendered, rich, able bodied, etc. I want to love them the same, and never reject them. What have we done to Christianity? Why have we made it something scorned? How can we change it? I can do nothing. I won't tell people here that I am a Christian, I will tell them I follow Jesus.

Because through our faults "we" have made Christianity what we think it should be and not what Jesus made it. He made it a sanctuary for the outcasts; He made it a humbling place for the rich and the proud; He made it a freedom place for the bound.
Help us oh God to love our neighbors as ourselves. Teach us mercy, forgiveness and grace. Most of all God teach us humility.

Mistakes and Laughs

Man do I make them, and sometimes I just feel like one. You know?...That feeling that you are the mistake? If you are familiar keep reading the funny part is coming.

I feel that way with my field placement these last few weeks. I am still floating trying to understand where I fit in to this self-directed position with the Skillman Good Neighborhoodhoods Initiative. I love the placement, but I wonder am I the wrong person for this job? Or am I the right person at the wrong time? I don't know. How long do I wait? What am I supposed to say? I don't want to take my supervisors away from their work. I feel like an ignorant nuisance.

For laughs and embarassment:
Today I made a stupid mistake. I was sending minutes from a meeting to my head supervisor, and in the title I wrote hey! The computer recognized that I had a history of writing "hey momma" to my mom and changed the title of my email to my supervisor to read "hey momma". I sent the email unaware of the lurking disaster. When she replied, I realized my error, and I am still laughing with a red face. I am full of mistakes.

HOT POT

I want to echo the words of my dear friend Lindy,,, “I am where I belong.”
I know that the things I am learning here at U of M are more valuable to the formation of my character than I could have hoped for.
Tonight I was the only non-Asian at what is called a “Hot-Pot” party.

History:
I was invited by my neigbhor Shuen (and leader of my women's Bible study).
Shuen is American Chinese and she has a Taiwaneese roommate, Joyce. I met Joyce today at the bus stop.
I said, "Are you Joyce?" and she looked at me with that 'stay away you creep' look and said "yes". And I proceeded to introduce myself as Shuen's friend. Later that night, I was called to a HOT POT party.

OK so first things first, Hot-Pot is NOT what it sounds like. It IS the best thing this side of Northwood (my apartment). I being non-Asian am a minority here in this complex. I love it. I love my neighbors.

Definition of Hot Pot:
A crockpot like dish, set in the middle of the living room, on a table with about 12-15 people sitting around. What goes in? I think everything. Some of what I ate...well...you probably don't want to know; squid, fish balls (i think scales/bones/eyeballs included), tofu, some sort of tuber, unrecognizalbe meat, chicken legs, and an assortment of green stuff. I loved it. I felt my gag reflex only once, and that was due to the fish ball texture. The people at the party were from Japan, Korea, Taiwan, and China. They accepted me and loved on me. How can they do that? I wonder do I do that? I don't think so. Seriously, they wanted me to share their culture. God make me like that!

They were shocked at my profficiency with chopsticks. I guess one thing that American-Chinese restaurants do right is the chopstick thing.

Think BIG?

Everyone here expects to be, do, or invent something big. I think that is how they got here, either that or they got lessons on how to BS a good entry letter.

This school attracts people who think with big words, ideas and changes…or is it think big of themselves? In class, coffee shops, seminars, church, work, and casual conversation, I am confronted with the qualifications of the people that I am surrounded by. As with every new concept I think, ‘Ok how does this fit with my faith?” OR “how can I manipulate this idea of bigness to fit God’s picture for my life?”

I wonder, “Lord am I allowed to think big too?”

God may I worship You only in all things. Help me to be content with my place and purpose…whatever that is. Help me God. Protect me from what is not from or of you. Help me to let go of what separates me from Your perfect will. Oh Jesus may all BIG things that I do be a reflection of you in me. Help me to be hungry for you instead of what this world thinks is big.

Have You Ever?

Have YOU Ever...
Written a letter that you couldn't send?
Had a lot to say, but lacked the audience?
Had nothing to say, but had an audience?
Wondered if your spirituality was directly related to your Geography?
Been the unmerciful sevant (pardon the Bible language)?
Repayed evil for good?

I have.

He is so funny!

A startling revelation

I have spent the last year and half of my life resisting the push and pull of this process of coming to UofM. For much of the time I was convinced that at the last minute an amazing opportunity would come up and I wouldn't have to spend the next 2 years of my life at graduate school. The opportunity never came, and not wanting to put my life on hold until this invisible opportunity came I walked through open doors to this magnetic place, Ann Arbor. I love it.

Despite the satisfaction I feel at being in this prestigious place I feel a dichotomy within myself. I am all at once peaceful and agitated. I have an incredible sense of well-being with the knowledge that I followed the road to this society that is set up for successes. I am in the unequivocal land of opportunity, but the struggle lies in what I am doing here. I often ask myself "what is my purpose?" "am I made for this work?" My chosen method area in social work is Social Policy. Now to many this may sound boring, but let me remind you it plays an important role in every aspect of our western society. Policies influence where we'll go to school, where we can build buildings, who gets food and how much they get, who gets new trash dumpsters and who has to wait till the next century comes around. More to come.